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6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

A Season of Change

A Season of Change

motivation

A Season of Change

September 26, 2019      mirandaehrich

A Season of Change

The truth is, I’ve lost direction. With this blog, with my life, with it all.  As much as everyone is tired of hearing about it, my MS has turned my life upside down. I have yet to rise above it, to embrace it, to feel empowered by it. The truth is, it makes me feel weak, fearful and unhopeful for my future. As much as everyone thinks I “look good”, I feel terrible every day. I walk around each day with symptoms that remind me that this disease exists and isn’t going away.  I ...

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Miranda Ehrich

Miranda Ehrich

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be.

I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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2 years. It has officially been 2 years since my l 2 years. It has officially been 2 years since my last relapse. 2 years of fighting for myself, of advocating for myself, of struggling, of growing and learning. 2 whole years. 

I use to live every single day in fear. I feared the unknown, of what this disease could do to me. I feared for my future, a future that I was still grieving for, a future that could be ripped away from me in a blink of an eye. I feared the prognosis my doctors gave me. I feared the unpredictability of that prognosis. I feared so much and it crippled me. This disease crippled me. 

Many that are close to me know that this hasn’t been an easy journey for me. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I became severely depressed after my diagnosis and my anxiety raged out of control. It has taken me 15 months to dig myself out of that hole. A hole that was so dark, that I honestly thought I would never see the light again. 

I have been finally starting to feel like myself again and it’s been a breath of fresh air to not be crippled by fear all the time. I have worked so so so so hard to get here. My body is in the best shape it’s been in since high school. I am working on healing from past traumas. I am more independent and self-sufficient than I have been in my entire life. I am me again. The new me. 

I look forward to continuing to grow, heal and become a better version of myself. I have hated my body for being so “weak” and I have finally accepted that my MS is just another part of what makes me, me. I can finally look in the mirror and genuinely say I love who I am. As always, thank you all for your continued support as I navigate these tough waters and thank you to those who never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. You know who you are. 💕
I want a love that’s crazy, yeah I want it bad. I want a love that’s crazy, yeah I want it bad. 🎶 🖤
He may be in different colors this year but still He may be in different colors this year but still gotta support my man. LFG 🏈
Women. We can be both soft and powerful at the sam Women. We can be both soft and powerful at the same time. 💕
The best people in life are free. 💕 The best people in life are free. 💕
✨Just having ourselves a magical day. ✨ ✨Just having ourselves a magical day. ✨
Just in case anyone needed a reminder. 😘 Just in case anyone needed a reminder. 😘
Would like to share in my excitement because I can Would like to share in my excitement because I can FINALLY do a headstand. I had started this journey a year ago and gave up after a month of feeling like I wasn’t going anywhere. Well after my workout the other day I thought to myself “I wonder if I can do a headstand now” and I did it on the first try. 😳

I have been working my butt off to get back into shape again and this is a HUGE win for me. Just shows me that what I am doing is actually working. Can’t wait to see what yoga pose I conquer next. 💪🏻
As I reflect on this past year, I am left with a s As I reflect on this past year, I am left with a sort of heaviness and lightness at the same time. This year has brought me to my knees in so many ways but I also haven’t felt this free in a long time. I shed a lot of tears and have laughed until I couldn’t breathe. It was a year of many highs and many lows. 

My chaos started when I had to step away from travel nursing due to covid. It was a hard decision but the right one. I then walked away from the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And even though we are still amicable with one another now, losing my best friend of 6 and a half years was a difficult adjustment. I intended on just visiting my sister before returning to travel nursing but they convinced to stay in Florida permanently. Best decision of 2020. Moving 1,000 miles across the country spontaneously brought up many challenges and hardships though.

In these many changes, I decided to take a step away from nursing all together. I do miss the NICU but bedside nursing was taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I might eventually return to nursing but for now I am enjoying a change of scenery. 

It was also a year of more bad news from my doctors. Just another reminder that my body is constantly working against me and everything I do, can impact a “normal” future. I also got sick with COVID. And even though I had a more mild form (I am EXTREMELY fortunate), it still took me a few weeks to get back to baseline. 

I look back on this past year with a full heart because I survived. I survived one of the hardest years I have ever lived. I went through many major life changes and still was able to find genuine happiness. 

Last year I started coming up with a word of the year to inspire and motivate me. For 2021, I have chosen GROWTH. I want this to be a year I continue to grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to put myself first and really find what drives me and makes me happy. And most of all, I want to fall in love with myself again because I have spent many years hating who I am and have been searching for love in all the wrong places.

So peace out 2020, you will not be missed. ✌🏻
Merry Christmas from my 2 favorite humans and myse Merry Christmas from my 2 favorite humans and myself. Hope everyone had a wonderful and enjoyable day. 💕

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