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6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

A Season of Change

A Season of Change

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A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

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Miranda Ehrich

Miranda Ehrich

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be.

I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Just a fresh cut to make me feel a little normal a Just a fresh cut to make me feel a little normal again. 

Thank you @allisonmrough for always making me feel pretty. 💕
6 months ago, I almost died in this very spot. It’s crazy to me it has been half a year since this has happened. This is a huge milestone, but also is hard to think about since I am still having some issues. Issues I might continue having for the rest of my life. Issues that could end up being a permeant disability. Issues that could mean I will be in pain every day for the rest of my life. And the PTSD is real y’all. Numbingly real. 

A split second is all it took to change the trajectory of my life forever. A split second to rip the rug out from underneath me. A split second and all the plans for my future are gone. I actually landed right in front of my apartment complex where I was going home to take care of Luna. I was so close to being home.

I have grown a lot from this experience. I have learned so much about myself. I have fought for myself. I have cried. I have lost hope. I have pushed myself through pain, sweat, blood and tears. 

But I survived. I. Survived. I wake up every single day and sometimes have to remind myself I almost died. I almost had my leg amputated. I almost had the possibility of being unresponsive due to my brain injury. I almost ended up with a colostomy. I almost lost organs. I almost ended up with a stent in my carotid. But I fought and I survived. I have to remind myself that yes things are very difficult right now, the PTSD is unbearable at times, but there could have been one of those alternatives that would have made life even more difficult. I could have even died.

Life is precious y’all. Just because you wake up today, doesn’t mean you’ll wake up tomorrow. You might not get that chance to take that trip, tell that person you love them, move across the country, start your dream career. Life. Is. Precious.

My battles continue every day but my scars, my pain, my sadness all remind me I am stronger because of what I’ve gone through. I have a story to tell others. I have a story to tell myself. 

I am strong. I am worthy. I am capable. I am determined to find my way back to happiness again.
The thing that most people don’t understand abou The thing that most people don’t understand about people who have lived through something traumatic, is the silent battles they face everyday. I am happy to share my physical progress and I am happy to have come this far, but the reality? I’m just so tired. The daily struggles with pain, the PTSD, the anxiety, the depression, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the hopelessness, the resentment, the financial burden- it’s a lot. Most people don’t see this part of my recovery and journey either. 

The process of accepting my new reality is very much a struggle. Coming to terms with the pain, with the way my body looks, with the new extreme fatigue, with what overall happened to me is a slow journey. My life will never ever look the same and some of things I wanted for my life will never be able to happen. These are things I have to accept to move forward. The trauma becomes part of who I am, whether I want it to or not. I went through this exact same grieving process when I was diagnosed with MS so at least I have some experience, but having a near death experience sure does shake things up in one’s life. 

I’ve gotten better at being present in the moment and trying to find small moments of happiness. It’s not a lot but it’s a start. I am looking forward to the day when my life starts to feel okay again and for now we’ll keep slowly moving forward. 🖤
Happy Earth Day. 🌎 It’s crazy to see how much Happy Earth Day. 🌎 It’s crazy to see how much my life has changed since I made the decision to move to the sunshine state almost 2 years ago but I am grateful to still be here to enjoy this beautiful planet for some more time. 🖤
Well well well, look where hard work gets ya. 😎 Well well well, look where hard work gets ya. 😎 I will also say I did not gracefully get down from here but I am slowly but surely getting my strength back.
I heard scars were in fashion this year. *not pi I heard scars were in fashion this year. 

*not pictured: my 50 other scars lol*
Also convinced myself my surgeon knew I was a Harry Potter fan and he intentionally gave me this scar for that reason only. ⚡️
Thought this day would never come. First time walk Thought this day would never come. First time walking in 94 days. 

“And just as the Phoenix rose from the ashes, she too will rise. Returning from the flames, clothed in nothing but her strength, more beautiful than ever before.”

Still I rise. 🖤
I’m not going to lie, I have had some pretty low I’m not going to lie, I have had some pretty low days. Days where I am angry or sad in my lack of progress. Where I wish this never happened. Confused why bad things constantly happen to me and I have to fight so hard to even stay alive. I even on these low days sometimes wish I didn’t survive my accident. 

But you know what? These feelings are normal. I have learned to feel what I need to feel, cry when I need to and the next day I pick myself up and tell myself I can do this. I won’t let my depression and anxiety consume me and stop me from regaining my full potential. 

The support I receive from my family and friends is what keeps me going. The random texts I receive of people telling me I’m so strong, that you admire me, that I will get through this is the reason I fight so hard. Thank you to the people who check on me, who let me rant and cry to you, who come see me, who remind me of my worth and what I am capable of. You guys are the reason I am smiling. 

I have constant internal battles I am fighting throughout this journey and no one can fight them but me. No one can fully take away my pain, no one can make my recovery go faster, no one can take on this burden. But you guys remind me I have something to fight for, something to live for. 

Mental health is so important to talk about. I feel it’s important to share my journey with the highs and lows so others know they are not alone. Life is difficult, not everyone gets ran over by a car but we ALL go through something that is hard to navigate. Have your bad days, have your bad moments but find something to fight for. Remind yourself you’re worth it, show yourself some compassion and know that you can overcome anything.
I should be dead. I survived a near death experi I should be dead. 

I survived a near death experience and I still have moments where I can’t wrap my head around it. The things my body has gone through in the last 6 weeks is incredible. Having MS and being immunocompromised already put me at a disadvantage for healing, but my body is working in overdrive every single day to heal. It’s exhausting to have your body trying to regrow itself. It’s exhausting to be in so much pain everyday. It’s exhausting to go through something so traumatic knowing it’s going to impact you the rest of your life. I’m just so tired. All. The. Time. 

What I went through, what I am continuing to go through is something I can’t even begin to describe. I feel I have changed and am a different person now in some ways. I am still grieving but also have moments where I am so numb I can’t feel anything. Losing your ability to walk for months, watching your muscles waste away everyday, nothing being able to ease your pain and having surgeries that will impact you for the rest of your life is just terrible. 

I am grateful for my surgeons. The right people where there at the right time and saved my life. They didn’t expect my outcome to be what it is and I am glad my body put up such a fight. I was told my ICU nurses were phenomenal and advocated for the best care for me. A nurse even played @illenium for me as I was being extubated and getting cleaned up. I am grateful for my family who hasn’t left my side and am always asking for what I need. My sister has become my full time caretaker and has sacrificed a huge part of her life to care for me. I am grateful for the friends and even strangers who reach out to me, asking me how I’m doing and encourage me to keep fighting. 

The first 48 hours I was in the hospital, I was in and out of emergency surgeries and it was unsure if I would make it or the state I would be in when I woke up. I am very fortunate to be where I am today. I am very fortunate to be alive. There is a lot to be grateful for but I still am angry that I am even in this position to begin with. 

**more in comments**
Taken hours before my life was changed forever. I Taken hours before my life was changed forever. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to watch your loved one get hit by a car but Dominic hasn’t left my side since this has happened. 

He was the one to check my pulse after I got hit and the one that advocated for an ambulance to be called as I was bleeding out. He immediately notified my sister and got my family down and stayed at the hospital until my sister got there. Then cared for Luna until I was out of my emergency surgeries until she could get picked up. 

I don’t remember a single thing from EDC but I’m glad we went and I’m glad you have the memories for both of us. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for pushing me to heal and do better even on my days I’m so depressed I don’t want to do anything. Thank you for loving me and choosing me everyday. This isn’t easy for either of us but everyday am grateful for you. Love you baby and can’t wait till you can take me out dancing again. 💕

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