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6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

A Season of Change

A Season of Change

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

May 1, 2020      mirandaehrich

While in North Carolina, I decided it was time to go back to therapy. My functional medicine doctor had been encouraging me to return back to therapy for quite some time and I finally gave in. He made a good point that if I could not get my mental health under control, then I won’t be able to get my physical health under control, which I am so desperate to do right now. I feel as if my depression has been on the back burner and my anxiety has been creeping its way to the front without me truly realizing it. Part of it was denial. If I don’t admit I have a problem, then I actually don’t have a problem right? Wrong, very wrong. I also felt that I have been so focused on not being depressed or sad that I ignored that antsy, restless, worrisome, stressed out side of me. Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. Typically if you have one, you have the other. Yay us. So long story short, I have been heavily neglecting a vital part of myself and in return it has raged out of control.

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about my anxiety because I could probably write an entire post about it and today I am focused on what my takeaways from 3 months of therapy has been for me. Let’s dive in:

  1. You have to put yourself first. The road to self-love and healing is not a selfless one. You can’t continue to put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own, then expect to get better. I understand some people who have children or are caretakers for family do not have a choice but to put those people first. Everyone else out there? They can wait. I have tiptoed around so many people’s feelings and have done things to sacrifice my wellbeing for the sake of others. Let me tell you, it has not helped me. If you are unable to fill your own cup and be happy on your own, do not expect to be able to fill others cups. Constantly filling others cups, while neglecting your own, will only continue to deplete your empty reserve. Be selfish for once, but with grace.
  2. With that being said: not everyone in your life is going to understand the changes and space you need to grow and heal. People might be angry, upset, or hurt when you tell them that you need space, but guess what? You have one life here. Do you really want to spend the rest of that life with shattering, crippling anxiety, or depression? I sure don’t. My therapist reminded me that real change takes time. It could take months or even years to rearrange my distorted and toxic thought process. If your family or friends cannot be patient while you work on yourself, then they don’t deserve to be in your life.
  3. You have to learn to say no and speak up for yourself. With true change, comes homework. My therapist gave me homework after every single session. Trust me, some of it was difficult and took me hours to complete. Sometimes I had to turn down plans in order to have a mental health day. It sucks saying no and to miss out on something that could have been fun, but we all need those days to just sit and relax for longer than a minute. She also told me that I need to become more comfortable with talking about my emotions, not reacting with my emotions. This is something that takes a lot of practice and patience. When you are constantly keeping yourself busy, you are cheating yourself out of improving yourself.
  4. Living with anxiety, depression, or any mental illness is okay and is a part of who you are. We spend so much time trying to “fix” ourselves and honestly I used to have this mindset about my own mental illnesses. We try to get rid of the anxiety or depression and are disappointed or self-critical when it’s been weeks, months, or even years of living with the mental illness. The reality of the situation is that your mental illness is now a part of who you are. My therapist described it as this: we have many different versions of ourselves. We have the version that acts one way in front of our parents, another that acts a different way in front of our best friend, another with our significant other, another with strangers, etc. (you get the point). Who we are when we are anxious or depressed is just another version of us. I have spent so much time trying to figure out how to not be depressed or anxious, living with that doomsday attitude of “this is going to be my life forever” that I haven’t worked on consoling and healing those parts of me. Without my depression and anxiety I would not be the person I am today and I am sure they have more of a role to play in the future as well. 
  5. My anxiety is the mentality of a 3rd grader. This concept was really confusing and hard to understand when she first explained it to me, but after thinking about it for a few days after my appointment it made complete sense. Can you pinpoint the exact moment or period of your life when you developed anxiety? I could not pinpoint an exact situation but thought back to elementary school and my life up until 3rd grade was a breeze. Between the pressures at home to be successful in every part of my life and the pressure from school, sports, and all the extracurricular I was in, it was just too much for a 3rd grader. If you pinpointed what age your anxiety started, ask yourself this- how did you react to the anxiety at that age? For that 3rd grader, I thought it would be the literal end of the world if I failed a test. I feared disappointing my parents, teachers, coaches, and anyone else in my life that I stressed about every little thing a little more than a 3rd grader should. The consequence? This mentality has carried over into adulthood. Since my anxiety developed in 3rd grade, it reacts to everything the same way a 3rd grader would. Which is totally not reasonable or realistic. It will not be the end of the world if I am late to my appointment. Is it inconvenient? Sure. The end of the world? No. My therapist told me to talk to myself when I am feeling anxious as I would to a 3rd grader who is experiencing the same thing. It’s weird, I know, but I promise it has been helping (when I actually remember to do it). A simple,”Thank you for caring, but everything is going to be okay,” can go a long way when you are feeling anxious.
  6. Absolutely EVERYONE can benefit from seeing a therapist. Society has placed such a harsh stigma on seeing a therapist that many people opt to not do it and suffer in silence. A therapist will be able to look at your life from an outsider’s perspective and offer you tools to make the changes you need to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled life. Even though you are paying them, most of them genuinely want you to have a better life and will do what they can to get you there. You are never too young or too old to start. You deserve so much happiness and if you feel like you don’t have it, go see a therapist. 

I hope this in some way encourages at least one person to reach out and start seeing a therapist. Keep in mind that not every therapist is a good fit for everyone, so you might have to see one or two before you find someone that’s right for you. There is a great website, Psychology Today, in which you can find therapists in your area. It lists their specialities, how much they charge, what insurance they accept, and their location. Take the time to browse the different therapists and find one who specializes in what you need help in the most. It’s never too late to start living a better life, just remember that.

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Miranda Ehrich

Miranda Ehrich

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be.

I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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I’m proud of this girl right here. Proud that sh I’m proud of this girl right here. Proud that she can spend hours crying, then get up and do what she needs to do. Proud that even on the days she is in unbearable pain, she still does a workout. Proud that she defied all odds and is still defying them. Proud of her for always staying true to herself. I’m just so proud of how far she’s come. 

I hope one day soon I can share a little bit more of the recent weeks, but for now I am just grateful to be where I am. The good moments make the hard days easier to manage and process. Don’t forget to show yourself some love on your bad days ❤️
To the hardest year of my life: You taught me mo To the hardest year of my life: 

You taught me more about myself and life in a year than most people will learn in an entire lifetime. I had to rebuild myself from nothing. Learning how to walk again, coming back from a traumatic brain injury, learning how to cope with PTSD, dealing with the hardships of being out of a job for a year, the list goes on and on. 

But I did it. I survived the worst year of my life. I will never be grateful for getting hit by a car but I am grateful for the lessons that have been learned and for the growth that has come from it. I am a stronger, more resilient force and everyday I continue to heal. 

Most of this past year has been pain, depression, anxiety and more pain. But I look back at my camera roll and I see so many smiles, laughter, and amazing moments with amazing people. The people that have supported me this past year are the reason I am still here. Through my darkest moments I had difficultly finding my reason to hold on, but because of my support system and the love I received I held on. 

I made new friends, continued to grow current friendships, saw great EDM shows, went to festivals, spent so much time with family, visited friends across the country, went to multiple weddings, spent time in nature, and witnessed my second nephew be born. 

This year was hard and painful, but this year also gave me so so much. This year gave me a reason to live. This year showed me I am worthy of love, happiness and success. 

2023 watch out, I’m coming for you. 💕
Job secured ✔️ Apartment picked ✔️ In a sh Job secured ✔️ Apartment picked ✔️ In a short 3 weeks I’ll be back living in Orlando full time again. Bring on the adventures 💕
This year was the first Thanksgiving I had experie This year was the first Thanksgiving I had experienced with my family in over 5 years. Between work, having COVID, and being in the hospital, I haven’t been able to sit down at a table with a full plate with family, so this year was very special for me. Also special because I am still here to experience it. 

As a new beginning is coming, a tremendous amount of reflection has been happening about what this past year has looked like for me. As many know when I was discharged from the hospital, I had to go live with my sister and her family as I needed a full time caregiver. I couldn’t be left alone at the house because I needed help doing everything. She had to change my bandages, help me go to the bathroom, empty my commode, help transfer me, and had to remind me everyday to do my exercises. All while running a business, raising a toddler and being pregnant. She’s basically super woman. 

She didn’t leave my side in the hospital, advocated for me when she felt I wasn’t getting the best care, and somehow kept it together in front of me when I didn’t recognize her when I woke up. 

Everyone knows my sister is my best friend and that she’s my person. We aren’t the mushy lovey type, we get through life with coffee, wine, sarcasm and dark humor. We have always had this unspoken respect, love and compassion for one another that we don’t need to verbalize and we both know we would take a bullet for each other. 

She hasn’t gotten enough recognition for what she has done for me this past year and there will never be anything I can do to repay her. I absolutely would not have survived this past year without her support. Being close to my nephews, being able to be there for Lincoln’s birth and watch him grow up has been one of the greatest things this past year. Happiness has been hard to find at times but those 2 nuggets can always put a smile on my face. 

Anyways this is an Andrea appreciation post and I hope everyone has an Andrea in their life for when you hit rock bottom. 💕
One year ago as of yesterday, I was leaving EDC an One year ago as of yesterday, I was leaving EDC and my life changed forever. I woke up a week later in the hospital being told by a person I thought was a complete stranger, that I was crossing the street when a car going close to 50mph hit me. It took me a minute to register but the person telling me this was my sister. Over the next couple of days, I slowly started grasping the severity of my injuries and as they slowly decreased my fentanyl and morphine, the more my mind cleared up and the reality of my situation set in. Along with an unimaginable amount of pain. 

After 6 surgeries, breaking nearly 20 bones and being in a wheelchair for 4 months, I came back to EDC again this year. My PTSD is still there, my pain is still there but I am also still here. I survived death. I beat all odds and I am walking, talking and alive. I danced, I laughed, I cried and I celebrated that the worst year of my life is now behind me. 

For my other trauma survivors: hold tight, healing is not linear. You’ll have good days, okay days and terrible days. Sometimes those terrible days last for what seems like forever but the more you continue to fight for yourself, for your life, the more the okay days are more often than the terrible days. And before you know it the okay days start becoming the good days. This is your sign to prioritize your healing and create the life you want. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported and loved me this past year. I know I wasn’t always the best to be around, but I could not have gotten through this alone. I can’t wait to see what this next year brings me. 💕
We work on the glutes so we can have charcutes. 😋
Convinced my life is always a Taylor Swift song. Convinced my life is always a Taylor Swift song. 

I have spent so so much time picking up the broken pieces from this past year and a new chapter is finally beginning. 💕
Surgery #6 done ✔️ Everything went well. Doc Surgery #6 done ✔️

Everything went well. Doc said my bone growth was pretty significant and they had to take a lot out. It went all the way from my ulna to my radius. I’m pretty sore this morning and doing my exercises is not fun 🥴 but we are managing. Starting OT today and have to get some braces made that I can sleep in. 

I ended up getting a lot of hardware taken out. All 3 limbs were operated on but hopefully this will help me with the daily pain I am in. Arm plate/screws came out (which I’ve had in for 10 years now, might miss it a bit 🤪), screw in knee, 2 screws in left ankle, and my long screw in my right ankle (far right) all came out. I’m less robot now. 

Definitely aspirated when I was being extubated so been coughing up a lot of stuff over night but it’s getting better this morning. 

I have a lot of hard work in front of me and the next 6 weeks will be very vital in my long term recovery. My arm is still stiff and doesn’t want to rotate like it should so a lot of cranking on it and hourly exercises will have to be done. Pretty similar to what I went through when my leg didn’t want to work. 

Anyways hopefully this will be my last surgery and I will be able to get back to “normal” in the next 2-3 months! Thank you all for the kind words, for thinking about me and for those who have texted me it means the world. 

My year of hell is almost over. 🙌🏻
“I’m coming to terms with a broken heart, I gu “I’m coming to terms with a broken heart, I guess that sometimes good things fall apart.”

3rd time seeing @illenium in the past year and my love for him grows more and more with every show. Thanks for another amazing night Nick. 💕
Tell me you love me 🎶 Tell me you love me 🎶

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