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6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

A Season of Change

A Season of Change

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

May 1, 2020      mirandaehrich

While in North Carolina, I decided it was time to go back to therapy. My functional medicine doctor had been encouraging me to return back to therapy for quite some time and I finally gave in. He made a good point that if I could not get my mental health under control, then I won’t be able to get my physical health under control, which I am so desperate to do right now. I feel as if my depression has been on the back burner and my anxiety has been creeping its way to the front without me truly realizing it. Part of it was denial. If I don’t admit I have a problem, then I actually don’t have a problem right? Wrong, very wrong. I also felt that I have been so focused on not being depressed or sad that I ignored that antsy, restless, worrisome, stressed out side of me. Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. Typically if you have one, you have the other. Yay us. So long story short, I have been heavily neglecting a vital part of myself and in return it has raged out of control.

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about my anxiety because I could probably write an entire post about it and today I am focused on what my takeaways from 3 months of therapy has been for me. Let’s dive in:

  1. You have to put yourself first. The road to self-love and healing is not a selfless one. You can’t continue to put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own, then expect to get better. I understand some people who have children or are caretakers for family do not have a choice but to put those people first. Everyone else out there? They can wait. I have tiptoed around so many people’s feelings and have done things to sacrifice my wellbeing for the sake of others. Let me tell you, it has not helped me. If you are unable to fill your own cup and be happy on your own, do not expect to be able to fill others cups. Constantly filling others cups, while neglecting your own, will only continue to deplete your empty reserve. Be selfish for once, but with grace.
  2. With that being said: not everyone in your life is going to understand the changes and space you need to grow and heal. People might be angry, upset, or hurt when you tell them that you need space, but guess what? You have one life here. Do you really want to spend the rest of that life with shattering, crippling anxiety, or depression? I sure don’t. My therapist reminded me that real change takes time. It could take months or even years to rearrange my distorted and toxic thought process. If your family or friends cannot be patient while you work on yourself, then they don’t deserve to be in your life.
  3. You have to learn to say no and speak up for yourself. With true change, comes homework. My therapist gave me homework after every single session. Trust me, some of it was difficult and took me hours to complete. Sometimes I had to turn down plans in order to have a mental health day. It sucks saying no and to miss out on something that could have been fun, but we all need those days to just sit and relax for longer than a minute. She also told me that I need to become more comfortable with talking about my emotions, not reacting with my emotions. This is something that takes a lot of practice and patience. When you are constantly keeping yourself busy, you are cheating yourself out of improving yourself.
  4. Living with anxiety, depression, or any mental illness is okay and is a part of who you are. We spend so much time trying to “fix” ourselves and honestly I used to have this mindset about my own mental illnesses. We try to get rid of the anxiety or depression and are disappointed or self-critical when it’s been weeks, months, or even years of living with the mental illness. The reality of the situation is that your mental illness is now a part of who you are. My therapist described it as this: we have many different versions of ourselves. We have the version that acts one way in front of our parents, another that acts a different way in front of our best friend, another with our significant other, another with strangers, etc. (you get the point). Who we are when we are anxious or depressed is just another version of us. I have spent so much time trying to figure out how to not be depressed or anxious, living with that doomsday attitude of “this is going to be my life forever” that I haven’t worked on consoling and healing those parts of me. Without my depression and anxiety I would not be the person I am today and I am sure they have more of a role to play in the future as well. 
  5. My anxiety is the mentality of a 3rd grader. This concept was really confusing and hard to understand when she first explained it to me, but after thinking about it for a few days after my appointment it made complete sense. Can you pinpoint the exact moment or period of your life when you developed anxiety? I could not pinpoint an exact situation but thought back to elementary school and my life up until 3rd grade was a breeze. Between the pressures at home to be successful in every part of my life and the pressure from school, sports, and all the extracurricular I was in, it was just too much for a 3rd grader. If you pinpointed what age your anxiety started, ask yourself this- how did you react to the anxiety at that age? For that 3rd grader, I thought it would be the literal end of the world if I failed a test. I feared disappointing my parents, teachers, coaches, and anyone else in my life that I stressed about every little thing a little more than a 3rd grader should. The consequence? This mentality has carried over into adulthood. Since my anxiety developed in 3rd grade, it reacts to everything the same way a 3rd grader would. Which is totally not reasonable or realistic. It will not be the end of the world if I am late to my appointment. Is it inconvenient? Sure. The end of the world? No. My therapist told me to talk to myself when I am feeling anxious as I would to a 3rd grader who is experiencing the same thing. It’s weird, I know, but I promise it has been helping (when I actually remember to do it). A simple,”Thank you for caring, but everything is going to be okay,” can go a long way when you are feeling anxious.
  6. Absolutely EVERYONE can benefit from seeing a therapist. Society has placed such a harsh stigma on seeing a therapist that many people opt to not do it and suffer in silence. A therapist will be able to look at your life from an outsider’s perspective and offer you tools to make the changes you need to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled life. Even though you are paying them, most of them genuinely want you to have a better life and will do what they can to get you there. You are never too young or too old to start. You deserve so much happiness and if you feel like you don’t have it, go see a therapist. 

I hope this in some way encourages at least one person to reach out and start seeing a therapist. Keep in mind that not every therapist is a good fit for everyone, so you might have to see one or two before you find someone that’s right for you. There is a great website, Psychology Today, in which you can find therapists in your area. It lists their specialities, how much they charge, what insurance they accept, and their location. Take the time to browse the different therapists and find one who specializes in what you need help in the most. It’s never too late to start living a better life, just remember that.

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Miranda Ehrich

Miranda Ehrich

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be.

I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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2 years. It has officially been 2 years since my l 2 years. It has officially been 2 years since my last relapse. 2 years of fighting for myself, of advocating for myself, of struggling, of growing and learning. 2 whole years. 

I use to live every single day in fear. I feared the unknown, of what this disease could do to me. I feared for my future, a future that I was still grieving for, a future that could be ripped away from me in a blink of an eye. I feared the prognosis my doctors gave me. I feared the unpredictability of that prognosis. I feared so much and it crippled me. This disease crippled me. 

Many that are close to me know that this hasn’t been an easy journey for me. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I became severely depressed after my diagnosis and my anxiety raged out of control. It has taken me 15 months to dig myself out of that hole. A hole that was so dark, that I honestly thought I would never see the light again. 

I have been finally starting to feel like myself again and it’s been a breath of fresh air to not be crippled by fear all the time. I have worked so so so so hard to get here. My body is in the best shape it’s been in since high school. I am working on healing from past traumas. I am more independent and self-sufficient than I have been in my entire life. I am me again. The new me. 

I look forward to continuing to grow, heal and become a better version of myself. I have hated my body for being so “weak” and I have finally accepted that my MS is just another part of what makes me, me. I can finally look in the mirror and genuinely say I love who I am. As always, thank you all for your continued support as I navigate these tough waters and thank you to those who never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. You know who you are. 💕
I want a love that’s crazy, yeah I want it bad. I want a love that’s crazy, yeah I want it bad. 🎶 🖤
He may be in different colors this year but still He may be in different colors this year but still gotta support my man. LFG 🏈
Women. We can be both soft and powerful at the sam Women. We can be both soft and powerful at the same time. 💕
The best people in life are free. 💕 The best people in life are free. 💕
✨Just having ourselves a magical day. ✨ ✨Just having ourselves a magical day. ✨
Just in case anyone needed a reminder. 😘 Just in case anyone needed a reminder. 😘
Would like to share in my excitement because I can Would like to share in my excitement because I can FINALLY do a headstand. I had started this journey a year ago and gave up after a month of feeling like I wasn’t going anywhere. Well after my workout the other day I thought to myself “I wonder if I can do a headstand now” and I did it on the first try. 😳

I have been working my butt off to get back into shape again and this is a HUGE win for me. Just shows me that what I am doing is actually working. Can’t wait to see what yoga pose I conquer next. 💪🏻
As I reflect on this past year, I am left with a s As I reflect on this past year, I am left with a sort of heaviness and lightness at the same time. This year has brought me to my knees in so many ways but I also haven’t felt this free in a long time. I shed a lot of tears and have laughed until I couldn’t breathe. It was a year of many highs and many lows. 

My chaos started when I had to step away from travel nursing due to covid. It was a hard decision but the right one. I then walked away from the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And even though we are still amicable with one another now, losing my best friend of 6 and a half years was a difficult adjustment. I intended on just visiting my sister before returning to travel nursing but they convinced to stay in Florida permanently. Best decision of 2020. Moving 1,000 miles across the country spontaneously brought up many challenges and hardships though.

In these many changes, I decided to take a step away from nursing all together. I do miss the NICU but bedside nursing was taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I might eventually return to nursing but for now I am enjoying a change of scenery. 

It was also a year of more bad news from my doctors. Just another reminder that my body is constantly working against me and everything I do, can impact a “normal” future. I also got sick with COVID. And even though I had a more mild form (I am EXTREMELY fortunate), it still took me a few weeks to get back to baseline. 

I look back on this past year with a full heart because I survived. I survived one of the hardest years I have ever lived. I went through many major life changes and still was able to find genuine happiness. 

Last year I started coming up with a word of the year to inspire and motivate me. For 2021, I have chosen GROWTH. I want this to be a year I continue to grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to put myself first and really find what drives me and makes me happy. And most of all, I want to fall in love with myself again because I have spent many years hating who I am and have been searching for love in all the wrong places.

So peace out 2020, you will not be missed. ✌🏻
Merry Christmas from my 2 favorite humans and myse Merry Christmas from my 2 favorite humans and myself. Hope everyone had a wonderful and enjoyable day. 💕

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