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6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

6 Things I Have Learned From Going to Therapy

A Leap Of Faith

A Leap Of Faith

A Season of Change

A Season of Change

I Have A Dream

February 8, 2019      mirandaehrich

Today I chased after my dreams.

I went to bed around 8:30 this morning after working a long 12-hour overnight shift in the NICU. It took me about a whole 30 seconds to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up around 3:00pm feeling as rested as one can feel after working overnight and getting 6 ½ hours of tossing and turning sleep. Per usual, I was running behind. I threw some clothes on, grabbed a banana, my water bottle, and raced out the door to make it to my Orangetheory workout, just  on time. I tried to keep up with all the other people, but was dragging due to not eating, hydrating, or sleeping properly beforehand. But hey, I showed up and got a killer workout in.  

Afterwards, I stopped by the store to pick up dog food (which I had been meaning to do for days) and also got my little pup some treats. Then continued the errand train by stopping to get gas because I had been staring at the empty light for far too long. Made it home and chowed down on leftover turkey chili (check out the recipe here) while watching another episode of “You” on Netflix. This was followed by a shower and day-dreaming about chocolate donuts, because who doesn’t think about chocolate donuts in the shower? Decided to make this FANTASTIC paleo chocolate brownie/cake dessert that I have been dying to try which totally satisfied my sweet tooth without feeling guilty about eating it afterwards. Don’t worry, the recipe will come soon. Sat down to work on my blog but ended up distracted on my phone for about an hour. Now here I am, typing away at 11:30 at night. 

Cool Miranda, but you said you were chasing your dreams today? I most certainly did. 

I got a workout in: which is improving my health, making me stronger, reducing my stress, and helping me be the healthiest version of myself. I got my little pup food, because Lord knows I could not survive a single day without her by side and I definitely won some brownie points with her by getting more treats. What about the gas? How is that chasing your dreams? Well obviously I need to get from Point A to Point B. It may sound silly, but I couldn’t do the majority of things I do without my car. I am grateful and fortunate to have reliable transportation. Also, I ate good today, tried new recipes I can share with you all, and satisfied my never ending sweet tooth all at the same time. Sure I didn’t make huge strides towards accomplishing my goals, but I did get up, show up and had small wins. I still have a mile long To-Do list. I still have 10,000 things that need to be done around the house. I still have a million errands to run. But hey, I got a workout in, ate healthy, and wrote about it. 

Sometimes I feel like we get so caught up on what we see on social media and it makes it easy for us to get discouraged. Oh that girl posted about how she ran 5 miles, checked off 20 things from her To-Do list, cleaned her whole house, meal prepped, and found a cure for cancer all before 10am while you’re still contemplating on even leaving your bed for the day? It’s totally fine. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I will 100% do it again. Don’t feel like it’s the end of the world when you don’t have a “productive” day. Count the small wins and feel proud of yourself for getting through another day. 

But don’t let this behavior become a pattern. We have to keep ourselves accountable and on track to accomplishing our own dreams and goals. We can blame life, others and situations for only so long. You may not be in control of what happens to you, but you are 100% in control of how you react to it and how you grow from it. Life may throw curveballs at you and it may put you behind, but understand there is always tomorrow. Today could have been a day from hell- nothing went right, you cried 5 times (and counting), and you want to quit and give up. In no way is that an option. You tell your miserable self, as you are going to bed, that tomorrow will NOT be like it was today. It WILL be better. You WILL be better. Ask yourself how tomorrow can be better than today and then make it happen. 

So get up, quit make excuses and go actively pursue your dreams today. Get off of social media, quit comparing yourself to other people, and take the action needed to make your dreams become a reality. No one is going to carry your regret for you. No one is going to make your dreams happen for you. You are in charge of what happens to you from here on out. You are allowed to have bad days and lazy days, but always keep your dreams in the FRONT of your mind. 

Here’s what I recommend if you are feeling unmotivated or you are unfocused:
–           Create a vision board. Hang it up in your office or closet. Somewhere that you will see it every day. On your vision board should be things that motivate you, people you aspire to be, or even your dreams themselves.
–           Write your goals down.Write them down every day if you have to. Journaling and writing have always helped me stay on track and remind me why I am working so hard in the first place.
–           Surround yourself with like-minded people. You 100% become the people you surround yourself with. If you want to become a go-getter who wakes up every morning full of life and energy then you need to surround yourself with those type of people. If you continue to hang out with people who just lay around, drink, or are negative all the time, you will be the same way.
–           Pick one dream to focus on right now. Trust me, I have 200 things I want to accomplish in the next few years. Sometimes when I think about all of them at once or try to work on all of them at once, I get overwhelmed and then end up laying in my bed for 10 hours watching Netflix instead. Anyone else? Instead of giving 10% to 10 different things, give 100% to 1 thing at a time and I can almost guarantee you will accomplish more.

I hope to each of you reading this that you find it in yourself to dig down and find the motivation to fight for your dreams and to fight for yourself. You are so deserving of the life you want to live and you can get there if you truly want to. You are your biggest cheerleader AND your biggest obstacle to achieving whatever you want. Don’t let fear, don’t let doubt or uncertainty, control your life and impair you from living the life you want. 
Wake up and chase your dreams. Live the life you’ve always wanted. Appreciate the small wins. You can do anything you set your mind to. I believe in you. 

XOXO 

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Miranda Ehrich

Miranda Ehrich

"For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be.

I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Just a fresh cut to make me feel a little normal a Just a fresh cut to make me feel a little normal again. 

Thank you @allisonmrough for always making me feel pretty. 💕
6 months ago, I almost died in this very spot. It’s crazy to me it has been half a year since this has happened. This is a huge milestone, but also is hard to think about since I am still having some issues. Issues I might continue having for the rest of my life. Issues that could end up being a permeant disability. Issues that could mean I will be in pain every day for the rest of my life. And the PTSD is real y’all. Numbingly real. 

A split second is all it took to change the trajectory of my life forever. A split second to rip the rug out from underneath me. A split second and all the plans for my future are gone. I actually landed right in front of my apartment complex where I was going home to take care of Luna. I was so close to being home.

I have grown a lot from this experience. I have learned so much about myself. I have fought for myself. I have cried. I have lost hope. I have pushed myself through pain, sweat, blood and tears. 

But I survived. I. Survived. I wake up every single day and sometimes have to remind myself I almost died. I almost had my leg amputated. I almost had the possibility of being unresponsive due to my brain injury. I almost ended up with a colostomy. I almost lost organs. I almost ended up with a stent in my carotid. But I fought and I survived. I have to remind myself that yes things are very difficult right now, the PTSD is unbearable at times, but there could have been one of those alternatives that would have made life even more difficult. I could have even died.

Life is precious y’all. Just because you wake up today, doesn’t mean you’ll wake up tomorrow. You might not get that chance to take that trip, tell that person you love them, move across the country, start your dream career. Life. Is. Precious.

My battles continue every day but my scars, my pain, my sadness all remind me I am stronger because of what I’ve gone through. I have a story to tell others. I have a story to tell myself. 

I am strong. I am worthy. I am capable. I am determined to find my way back to happiness again.
The thing that most people don’t understand abou The thing that most people don’t understand about people who have lived through something traumatic, is the silent battles they face everyday. I am happy to share my physical progress and I am happy to have come this far, but the reality? I’m just so tired. The daily struggles with pain, the PTSD, the anxiety, the depression, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the hopelessness, the resentment, the financial burden- it’s a lot. Most people don’t see this part of my recovery and journey either. 

The process of accepting my new reality is very much a struggle. Coming to terms with the pain, with the way my body looks, with the new extreme fatigue, with what overall happened to me is a slow journey. My life will never ever look the same and some of things I wanted for my life will never be able to happen. These are things I have to accept to move forward. The trauma becomes part of who I am, whether I want it to or not. I went through this exact same grieving process when I was diagnosed with MS so at least I have some experience, but having a near death experience sure does shake things up in one’s life. 

I’ve gotten better at being present in the moment and trying to find small moments of happiness. It’s not a lot but it’s a start. I am looking forward to the day when my life starts to feel okay again and for now we’ll keep slowly moving forward. 🖤
Happy Earth Day. 🌎 It’s crazy to see how much Happy Earth Day. 🌎 It’s crazy to see how much my life has changed since I made the decision to move to the sunshine state almost 2 years ago but I am grateful to still be here to enjoy this beautiful planet for some more time. 🖤
Well well well, look where hard work gets ya. 😎 Well well well, look where hard work gets ya. 😎 I will also say I did not gracefully get down from here but I am slowly but surely getting my strength back.
I heard scars were in fashion this year. *not pi I heard scars were in fashion this year. 

*not pictured: my 50 other scars lol*
Also convinced myself my surgeon knew I was a Harry Potter fan and he intentionally gave me this scar for that reason only. ⚡️
Thought this day would never come. First time walk Thought this day would never come. First time walking in 94 days. 

“And just as the Phoenix rose from the ashes, she too will rise. Returning from the flames, clothed in nothing but her strength, more beautiful than ever before.”

Still I rise. 🖤
I’m not going to lie, I have had some pretty low I’m not going to lie, I have had some pretty low days. Days where I am angry or sad in my lack of progress. Where I wish this never happened. Confused why bad things constantly happen to me and I have to fight so hard to even stay alive. I even on these low days sometimes wish I didn’t survive my accident. 

But you know what? These feelings are normal. I have learned to feel what I need to feel, cry when I need to and the next day I pick myself up and tell myself I can do this. I won’t let my depression and anxiety consume me and stop me from regaining my full potential. 

The support I receive from my family and friends is what keeps me going. The random texts I receive of people telling me I’m so strong, that you admire me, that I will get through this is the reason I fight so hard. Thank you to the people who check on me, who let me rant and cry to you, who come see me, who remind me of my worth and what I am capable of. You guys are the reason I am smiling. 

I have constant internal battles I am fighting throughout this journey and no one can fight them but me. No one can fully take away my pain, no one can make my recovery go faster, no one can take on this burden. But you guys remind me I have something to fight for, something to live for. 

Mental health is so important to talk about. I feel it’s important to share my journey with the highs and lows so others know they are not alone. Life is difficult, not everyone gets ran over by a car but we ALL go through something that is hard to navigate. Have your bad days, have your bad moments but find something to fight for. Remind yourself you’re worth it, show yourself some compassion and know that you can overcome anything.
I should be dead. I survived a near death experi I should be dead. 

I survived a near death experience and I still have moments where I can’t wrap my head around it. The things my body has gone through in the last 6 weeks is incredible. Having MS and being immunocompromised already put me at a disadvantage for healing, but my body is working in overdrive every single day to heal. It’s exhausting to have your body trying to regrow itself. It’s exhausting to be in so much pain everyday. It’s exhausting to go through something so traumatic knowing it’s going to impact you the rest of your life. I’m just so tired. All. The. Time. 

What I went through, what I am continuing to go through is something I can’t even begin to describe. I feel I have changed and am a different person now in some ways. I am still grieving but also have moments where I am so numb I can’t feel anything. Losing your ability to walk for months, watching your muscles waste away everyday, nothing being able to ease your pain and having surgeries that will impact you for the rest of your life is just terrible. 

I am grateful for my surgeons. The right people where there at the right time and saved my life. They didn’t expect my outcome to be what it is and I am glad my body put up such a fight. I was told my ICU nurses were phenomenal and advocated for the best care for me. A nurse even played @illenium for me as I was being extubated and getting cleaned up. I am grateful for my family who hasn’t left my side and am always asking for what I need. My sister has become my full time caretaker and has sacrificed a huge part of her life to care for me. I am grateful for the friends and even strangers who reach out to me, asking me how I’m doing and encourage me to keep fighting. 

The first 48 hours I was in the hospital, I was in and out of emergency surgeries and it was unsure if I would make it or the state I would be in when I woke up. I am very fortunate to be where I am today. I am very fortunate to be alive. There is a lot to be grateful for but I still am angry that I am even in this position to begin with. 

**more in comments**
Taken hours before my life was changed forever. I Taken hours before my life was changed forever. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to watch your loved one get hit by a car but Dominic hasn’t left my side since this has happened. 

He was the one to check my pulse after I got hit and the one that advocated for an ambulance to be called as I was bleeding out. He immediately notified my sister and got my family down and stayed at the hospital until my sister got there. Then cared for Luna until I was out of my emergency surgeries until she could get picked up. 

I don’t remember a single thing from EDC but I’m glad we went and I’m glad you have the memories for both of us. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for pushing me to heal and do better even on my days I’m so depressed I don’t want to do anything. Thank you for loving me and choosing me everyday. This isn’t easy for either of us but everyday am grateful for you. Love you baby and can’t wait till you can take me out dancing again. 💕

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